Carl has been on a big kick for the last couple of days to move. He'd move to L.A. in a heartbeat. This desire to move there started when I was screenwriting before, when we knew that I'd stand a much better chance at possibily, maybe, with every digit crossed, sell / get assignments. I was meeting with a lot of people after one of my scripts went out, and the general concensus seemed to be that if I lived there, they'd be able to work with me, mentor me into a position where they could get a studio to agree to me writing on assigment. The "they" are the ubiquitous producers, most of whom were just blathering niceties, but there were two or three genuine offers in there, and no way for me to follow up. (Well, the agent could have, but didn't, and what I was told was that she didn't because they would have to meet with me often and over a period of time before anything solidified, and flying out that often wasn't worth the gamble that someone might, eventually, hire me.)
Moving at that time was impossible, though...
Jake was getting more and more frustrated with school (he's ADD and Dysgraphic -- think "dyslexia" but with writing and organization), and he was having a lot of emotional turmoil due to those problems. Yanking him away from the positive things in his life -- his grandparents, his school friends -- seemed like a terrible risk to take. He might have excelled somewhere else, but he might have fallen into a vaccuum where no one knew him or reached out, and I was too worried what that might have done to him. Plus, we have a business here, a way to make a living (sometimes, she griped) and it's not like we could just transport what we do to another state.
But over the years, Carl has longed to move away, and the fact that L.A. has lots of galleries appeals to him immensely. (He does Raku pottery in his spare time, and has really impressed some people who've seen it recently -- one nationally acclaimed artist we know was urging us pretty vehemently to get his stuff into galleries, and several galleries have expressed an interest -- he just hasn't had the time to folluw up.) Also, the business of home remodeling in L.A. is far better than elsewhere, and even though what we currently do is industrial stuff (the money here is better in that field), what he loves is the remodeling and the artistic side of things. Granted, I'm sure there are people struggling out there, too, in remodeling, but I've got a lot of contacts from people who are so frustrated by not being able to find a good contractor (who can do the high-end stuff), that I think it wouldn't take long for Carl to have plenty of work.
There's just the little niggly question of money, as in, having enough to do something like that, and we just aren't there, yet. Plus, for me, there's the bigger emotional problem of leaving my parents when they're getting older and I've always been near to them and am close to them. It would kill them both, and I can already hear the guilt they'd pile on. (They piled on guilt when we bought this house because we were insistant on buying in south Baton Rouge and not north of the city where they are. Piled. On.) In spite of the guilt, though, I do enjoy them, and we get along great and I know I'd miss them and when they got older and needed help? I'd feel really awful for not being near them.
Still.
I long to move. I felt at home out there in a way I've never felt here. I really long to move. But I don't see how that will happen any time soon.
Posted by toni at February 11, 2004 02:07 AM