Y'all, the world is going to be coming to an abrupt end pretty soon. I just thought you should know in case you need to wrap up anything you're busy with right now. I'm helpful that way.
How do I know this, you might ask? Well, two things have happened recently which have never, ever happened before and as such, are signs of the impending apocalypse. Seriously.
First, Luke got registered for the next semester of college... early. Now this may not sound like that big of a deal to any of you, but this child has made it an art form to scoot into registration at the last possible second with big puppy-dog eyes, hammering away at the computer, trying to beat the clock before the registration shuts down, barely getting four classes (12 hours) lined up. And it's never the right four classes because of course, all of the things he needs are already full, so he knows he's going to have to spend a week dropping and adding classes like a frantic little squirrel storing nuts for winter when there's already a blizzard blowing around.
All of this effort is usually for NOTHING because without fail, he will next be purged from the computer system. For. No. Apparent. Reason. First semester, purged. Fought all week long with the registrar's office, who finally concluded that he was "accidentally" purged and they added him back. Second semester, purged. I think because he has green eyes. That made about as much sense as what they ended up telling him. Next semester after that, he actually registered before the very last minute, and checked with the registrar's office, made sure that there was absolutely nothing he needed to do, no reason whatsoever that he was going to be purged.
He was purged. Next semester, he bought lucky shorts, found a four leaf clover, lit candles. Purged. Semester after that? Voodoo, something with a chicken I don't even want to describe. Purged. Next semester, he thought he'd fool the whole system by changing universities. Brand spanking new place. New computer system, totally unrelated to the other one. Purged. I stopped him from sacrificing small children, since it wasn't going to help. But this time? He registered early. And wasn't purged. (So far.) The world is ending.
The second event was so unpredictable, I was rendered speechless. Speechless, people. Me. Doesn't ever happen.
Carl went to the dermatologist and had to wait a while, and had several magazines to choose from -- something about mechanics, golf, business... and Redbook. He picked up the Redbook. (I swear, if we had earthquakes here, half of Louisiana would have fallen into the Gulf.) He explained to me later at dinner how Redbook used to be so conservative, but now on every magazine cover, they were advertising articles on sex... particularly they have a feature running which claims to explain a new sexual position every month. (He wasn't impressed with what they'd had so far.) There were quizzes in there -- he took them. There were articles on bras and their proper fit, people, and he read them. This is a man who will rubberneck a backhoe and nearly cause a wreck but is totally oblivious to a pretty woman walking by (which I've seen happen when he didn't know I was around)... this is a man who has whole tool catalogs memorized, who looks like a little kid with the Sears Christmas Book every time a new, updated tool catalog comes in, who has more tools than God, and he read the whole magazine. And liked it. And then suggested we should get a subscription.
I think my head flew off my shoulders right then.
So just providing a community service here... wrap up your work, hug someone you love, because I'm pretty sure the entire planet's going to explode by tomorrow.
Posted by toni at April 7, 2004 11:16 AM