electric mist

a new theory

I have now become firmly convinced that when the majority of the male gender is young, probably sometime prior to starting grade school, a genie or pixie or evil imp appears to them to impart THE TRUTH. They are sworn to keep this secret, I believe, but there just cannot be any other explanation, and I have figured it out. Yes, indeedy, they are convinced that if they go through a house and shut ANY DOOR WHATSOEVER, their penis will fall off. Immediately. kerplop, right there on the floor. It is the only explanation that makes sense, because I have three guys who go through this house looking for things, needing to retrieve things, and they open doors and they never touch them again. Sixteen billion open doors in the house, never occurs to anyone of them to close one. They will SMACK INTO the open door, stumble back, grabbing their head, side, arm, leg, whatever, moan and groan in a much greater proportion than the injury and still walk away from the door without closing it. They will claim that they have cleaned a room and claim that it is amazingly wonderfully completely clean (translation: they dug out maybe one pile of crap and piled it all into another pile), and I will bet money they have left every door open in their room. The only exception to this rule that I have been able to see is the car door. That, they can somehow manage to close. Maybe because the penis is safely inside the doors, I dunno.