There's a question for you at the end of this one...
I'm not a big watcher of reality shows; I can't get into the whole competition thing of trying to kick each other off some island or out of some race. I think part of the problem is that I know a lot of it is edited and manipulated behind-the-scenes. But the one show that sort of morbidly fascinates me is the TLC show, What Not To Wear. This is the show where actual friends and family will apply to the show for someone to get a makeover and a $5000 wardrobe. The friends record the victim for two weeks when the person doesn't even know they're being taped, in their worst outfits... and then on national TV, the hosts of the show appear at a function the unsuspecting victim is attending in order to ambush them and disclose exactly how badly their friends and family think they've been dressing.
I'm not sure about you, but if my friends thought I looked terrible and dressed so horribly that they would not tell me in person, or hint, or hell, kidnap me for a friendly intervention and opted for national humiliation? I'd have to find new friends. It would be different if we were sitting around and decided to apply because it would be cool to have a makeover or new wardrobe, but the public humiliation factor? I'd be drop-kicking people to the other side of the room if they pulled that one.
And yet. I have a morbid fascination with the show. People are embarrassed and humiliated and most of them are convinced they are perfectly fine the way they are, that they're just expressing their personal style. And some of their styles are way-the-hell-out-there.
The makeovers have been nice... in fact, some have been downright dramatic and amazing. The victim records their emotional responses to the events as they unfold (starting immediately after the ambush), and it usually starts out with them being pretty damned mystified as to why their friends think they don't look nice and why they'd apply to a TV show, but they generally try to be decent sports about it (probably because they know that these recordings will go on TV), and sometimes, they're obviously very hurt but trying to hide it.
Now, to give the hosts credit, they aren't trying to make everyone into cookie-cutter copies of something that's trendy. They seem to work really hard to help the people find their own style that reflects their own life choices and show their personality even more. Lots of times, the people have such a low self-esteem, they're hiding in sacks of clothes or buying all of the wrong sizes because they hate shopping so much (or don't have the money, in the case of one mom who shopped at thrift stores), and they're afraid to try new things. Through the middle of the show, there's a lot of disbelief that whatever it is the hosts are telling them will work for them, and there's a lot of suppressed anger, and even tears (when the hair stylists steps in). But always by the end, the people are thrilled with their new look, they agree that their old style sucked and now they're going to be able to be a whole new them.
Sometimes, that's really nice, because they just needed a self-esteem boost. But a lot of times, it makes me cringe, because it's such a public humiliation sort of thing, a "You're not good enough right now the way you are," sort of thing (in some of the cases)... and sometimes, it isn't so much about the person not having self-esteem but simply really liking freakish choices. The makeover mellows that out, finds a more neutral way of them expressing it. Which works...
But I wonder sometimes. There are so many messages there. Some of them are positive -- the person really is way more attractive than they've been giving themselves credit for and now that they're dressing accordingly, they feel great. The opposite, though, is that idiosyncracies have to be buffed down to neutralize the extremes, which mutes that person's persona. The public humiliation aspect bothers me. And yet I watch. Constantly.
What do you think? If you found yourself suddenly in the midst of an ambush where they were telling you that you looked terrible and they were going to offer you $5000 for a wardrobe and you'd have to go there and do what they said and be made over... would you? Would you be embarrassed? Not care? I'm really very curious.
Posted by toni at November 9, 2004 12:19 PMOkay, first off, before answering your question, if you get bbcAmerica, you have to watch the original incarnation of this show. The hosts are just galaxies cooler.
That being said, with the vast bulk of my small wardrobe coming from Target, and being in need of a better haircut than the one I'm sporting now, I'd just say, "tell me what to wear, and let's go shopping!"
Posted by: Toni at November 9, 2004 02:14 PMNot a snowball's chance in ... While I wouldn't mind someone paying for the $8,000 worth of dental work I need, anything beyond that and I don't care if it IS national television and I can only HOPE the FCC fines them for the language I would use. Nope, would not be a pretty picture and someone had better have really good medical insurance.
-G
Posted by: Garrison Steelle at November 9, 2004 02:26 PMI love that show. I've been thinking of nominating most of my co-workers, but if they turned around and nominated me, I'd do it. First of all, I could happily spend $5,000 on clothes, but also if I'm as totally out of step with fashion as some people on that show are, then I'd like to know.
Posted by: Rachel at November 9, 2004 03:18 PMNot bloody likely. I have worked hard to get to a place where I'm happy with what I am and I'm not about to let someone waving $5000 under my nose change that. Those shows are horrible on the self-esteem (their premise is that you are lousy the way you are, let us teach you to be better). What if I don't like the style they pick for me? Then I'm stuck with $5000 worth of clothes I'll probably never wear.
Posted by: Mreauow at November 9, 2004 03:32 PMI love What Not To Where as well...it's one of my many guilty pleasures.
But yes, it does seem to thrive on some sense of embarrassment and making fun of people's clothes choices. They know it is what draws people in...
So, what would I do if someone nominated me? Well...I think I would go for it, but I probably would be kicking and screaming the whole way. And two, I wouldn't be willing to get rid of all my clothes. Sure, give me the new clothes, but in terms of $5000 in NYC shops, it isn't much money. So, I would want to keep my staple items...even if they are track pants and sweatshirts.
Plus, I would serious make fun of Wayne and Stacey right back...I think they deserve it.
Posted by: Shelley at November 9, 2004 05:54 PMI gotta tell ya, I think it's a riot that you chose that particular show to focus on. A few weeks back a guy I know was actually on the show. And good god did he ever deserve it! That man needed some SERIOUS help! lol
As for me? Since I'm heavier than the national "norm" and most of my weight is below the waist (read that to mean I'm larger than a 14 and shaped like a freakin pear) and have so far lost 56 pounds and still have another 100 or so to go....
I'd take the money and the advice and run with it. Granted they can be snide and hurtful. However, I think the humilation that the people get is a great motivator when paired with a solution to the perceived problem. Critism is nothing more than hateful when left standing alone. Providing a constructive alternative and opitions is a viable solution and can be more helpful than hurtful. (Just don't critisize me and then walk away, give me advice to make things better.) Like some of the others stated, regarding their observations of the show, they don't try to cookie cutter the horribly out of tune and completely unhip person with the crap wardrobe. I've watched the show and think how it's great how it is that they pull in all the different aspects of the individual (lifestyle, job, age, size, shape and personality) and incorporate that into a new style.
I know I got loads of style and my taste is good. I always try to look my best when I go out. I hate it when you see a fat chick at Wal*Mart who looks like she actually shops and buys all her clothes there (from the clearance rack 2 seasons too late). Fat chick Wal*Mart clothes are not always the best ones out there. The basics, jeans and t's are fine, but for me (note I say for me!!) it's just not a good choice.
So I would see what they have to say, try to apply what I can, keep some of my favorites and run with it. Couldn't be any worse off could I?
Oh yeah and have you seen the newest thing?
$50,000.00 wardrobe........first time I saw that I started salivating and wiping my chin to free it of the Lake Erie sized puddle that was forming and in a trance like state mumbling something about shooooooooooooooes. *Insert Homer Simpson noises here*
Posted by: Shannon at November 9, 2004 07:01 PMShannon, you're so cracking me up. I *just* saw that $50,000 promo and I have to tell you, even my hermit like grumpy self would go for that one. And LOL on the shoooooooooooooes. (Ooooh, and which episode was your friend?)
I do agree with you that they provide solutions and I do think they really give great advice and try to tailor it to the person's life / personality... but I would wonder why my friends / family hadn't said something to me about it. I think it's that moment of betrayal that bothers me the most, since most of the people seem happy.
(I know, there are a lot of other reality shows much worse in the humilation factor, but it's the ambush thing that gets me.)
Posted by: toni at November 9, 2004 07:16 PMI'm with you. The makeover aspect of the show is interesting. Any makeover for that matter would be awesome, but to know my friends had secretly scammed behind my back only to ambush me on national TV? I'd be looking for some new friends the minute I stopped crying like a little girl.
Posted by: Suzanne at November 9, 2004 10:54 PMI don't think it's about them not being good enough the way they are. I definitely don't get that feeling or I wouldn't watch.
Truly, if you look better, you feel better. How you look does matter, not in terms of your value as a human being, but in terms of how people relate to you. It is impossible not to "judge a book by its cover" at first glance. I know how I feel when I look like a bum and I know how I feel when I look put together. It does matter. Many of these people don't realize this *until* they've been given a makeover. I think it's awesome to watch peoples' inside potential emerge.
Posted by: heidi at November 9, 2004 11:49 PMI only saw one episode, and I had mixed feelings. Until the (obviously gay) wardrobe guy started touching the woman's breasts as if he had the right to because hey, she was getting $5000 worth of clothes, right? And she was clearly uncomfortable but didn't know what to do. He just kept "demonstrating" how "fabulous" her breasts were.
Oh, and then the hairdresser told her that his personal styling secret was that he hardly ever washed his hair. He just rinsed. Said it gave his hair more body, and then insisted that there were products he used so that his hair wouldn't smell unwashed. "Go on! Smell my head!" He shoved his head at her face and she again went against her instincts and very reluctantly sniffed his head.
The whole tone of this show creeped me out. It was like they owned her.
Posted by: Diana at November 10, 2004 10:51 AMThe British version of the show has just started a new series and it's now 60 minutes rather than the old 30. But this time, the victims volunteer themselves. They are filmed talking to one of the presenters "therapist style", lying on a couch, picking themselves apart for the nation to behold.
The makeovers are wonderful, I agree but I wish that they could take place off camera.
I stopped watching the series when they did a celebrity makeover. They took a slim, blonde newsreader and a large comedienne (Jo Brand) and made them over for an awards ceremony.
I was choking on my tea when it became apparent that not one designer would agree to create or supply a larger style gown for Jo Brand. Kudos to the BBC team for showing that but I was so disgusted, I rarely watch it any more.
Posted by: Daisy at November 10, 2004 12:19 PMI would be hurt, embarrassed, humiliated, and angry. I certainly wouldn't participate. I would read everyone who thought it was a brilliant idea the riot act, and then they'd be on my shit list for a long time if, in fact, I decided to continue talking to them.
I am sure you can tell I'd never consider watching the show.
Posted by: Lucy at November 10, 2004 02:44 PMIt was a few weeks back. It was the one of the radio DJ who never wore pants, only wore shorts.
He dressed like a slob here in Columbus too. The co-worker that turned him in (her name is Ramona) used to work here with him. He was my first major local celebrity crush *mad blush*.
You're right at least on this show it's not to terribly humiliating.
I just gotta say though, if your significant other sits you down to say that you both are going on the Jerry Springer show.......
RUN!!!
Nothing good ever comes of that show!
Given the two shows as only options......
$5000.00 for shooooooooes is good for me! :D
(Yes I am a total girlie girl, I have a "thing" for purses and shoes and lipsticks)
Posted by: Shannon at November 11, 2004 12:42 AMYeah, it's harsh but I know I don't dress as stylishly or in a way that benefits my body type. I'd be embarrassed but I'd be eager for the assistance - "Yeah! Show me what to wear!"
Posted by: Amanda at November 11, 2004 12:52 PMI'd be a little offended, but $5,000 for a new wardrobe, plus a free hairstyle? Sign me up.
Posted by: Beth at November 11, 2004 01:41 PMI would LOVE to be on that show - I mean c'mon - it's a brand new $5K wardrobe and a makeover hairdo to boot! I know I don't dress well - I don't know how to dress my body to make it look good. So I'm a perfect candidate for that show.
Plus, to hang with Clinton & Stacy would be a BLAST (I love them)!
Posted by: Jaynee at November 12, 2004 01:41 PMI *love* that show. I would go on it in a SECOND! A week of shopping and hair styling in NYC with Stacy and Clinton sounds awesome.I do have to disagree about the opinion that the hosts mock the person. They do, however, mock the clothes. I think that's part of the game - getting the people to realize that some of their clothes are horrible. The only thing that freaks me out is that damn 360 degree mirror. Eeeek!
I love that show and I do it in a heartbeat. And if my family actually bothered to get it together to do an "intervention" -- well, that means there's a BIG problem because they'd never do something like that!
Oh, BTW, I was ON a TV show once in 1984 doing a makeover show (for 8 weeks, they followed me around, I had a shrink, trainer, nutritionist, I lost 25 pounds, etc. -- it was hell. Never thought I'd be under such scrutiny... but when you're 24 you don't know sh*t anyway.
However, nowadays I can hang with clothes, makeup, hair (and home decorating!) advice... why not get the best of the best for nuthin'?! ;)
Posted by: Madley at November 13, 2004 01:02 PMI am strangely addicted to the show too. I am amazed that the "victims" are clueless as to the impact of their fashion choices.
I am moved when I hear most of them say at the end of the show what a life-changing experience it was, but sometimes I do feel that the little self-esteem they had before would be finally crushed by the humiliation they had to endure.
If my friends did that to me I would die of humiliation. USD5000 is not enough to abate the shame I would feel.
Posted by: Ana at November 13, 2004 08:49 PMI enjoy the show and it's actually playing right now as I reply here. I watched a few episodes of the original BBC production and quite frankly thought the hosts were, at times, blunt and cruel. I like this version better because the hosts do seem to be very aware of the fact that this person has been ambushed. They temper this with humor, encouragement and practical advice.
Now, if it happened to me? Yep, I wouldn't be too pleased, at first, with whoever set me up, but $5000?!? There's no way I'd turn that down.
Posted by: etherian at November 14, 2004 01:08 AM