November 20, 2004
In my pursuit of breaking all things computery, my new computer froze up this morning and once I re-booted, it refused to recognize the mouse. They weren't speaking to each other. (I'm not sure , maybe they were arguing over who flirted with the keyboard last.) I pull out the troubleshooting guide....
(okay, my friend Cor, who usually gets these frantic computer-woes e-mails, knows that means I frantically freaked out, went through about three dozen places where I thought I might have left said troubleshooting guide, contemplated sacrificing small appliances if it would just appear, found it, [those small appliances have a real survival instinct, I'm telling ya], tried everything in it, improvised a bit, and then threw said trouble-shooting guide across the room for all the good it does me)...
So I break down and call the Dell help line. Wherein, after all the typical intro, what is your problem sort of stuff, the conversation went like this:
Dell Guy (DG): Is this a Dell mouse, or another brand?
Me: Another brand. Logitech.
DG: Did you purchase this one from Dell?
Me: Nope, I already had it.
DG: Okay. (he walks me through several trouble-shooting things... none work)
DG: I believe the problem is your mouse. Since you're under warranty, we can have one shipped out to you in 24 hours.
Me: But I didn't buy the mouse from you.
DG: Yes, in 24 hours, we will ship it.
Me: Even if I didn't buy it from you?
DG: It will be there in about two days.
Me: Wow, that's some warranty. My car isn't working so great. I didn't get that from Dell either. Can I have one of those, too?
DG: 24 hours ma'am... just a moment, let me check on your address.
DG: Ah. Okay, I need a moment to put in all your information for the order.
Me: But you don't know what kind of car I want.
DG: What color would you like?
Me: Is it fast? Because if it's fast, I want a red one.
DG: Yes it's the normal mouse speed.
Me: That's not very fast. I'd have to go at least Jaguar speed. Something XL would do.
DG: Just a moment ma'am. Oh. I see here that you didn't buy your mouse from Dell.
Me: Damn. You're quick.
DG: I'm sorry, ma'am, but we can ship you another Dell mouse only.
Me: So does this mean I'm not getting the car?
I'll let you know if a Jag shows up in the driveway. Meanwhile, I got a new mouse from the local Office Depot and it works. (Well, until it flirts with the keyboard, I suspect.)
Posted by toni at November 20, 2004 05:19 PM
I thought I told you to stop smoking CRACK!
damn, I told that customer service guy to love the customer, but not THAT much!
I'm not that fast with the witty quips and comebacks when I'm talking to "customer representatives." I'm usually way too ticked off to be funny. Unless of course, by "funny" you really mean "stutteringly stupid."
Okay, how did the fastlane service work? (Is that what you call it?) Did you have to wait long; did you to talk to an American?
What's really wierd is that another friend was having trouble with HIS Logitech mouse yesterday, too. I'll have to tell him about the new car option. Maybe he'd stop borrowing mine. ;)
OMG THis is the best thing I have read in forever!
Super Cool :) Laters!!!
lol. wish i could do somethin' like that. i'm always sickingly polite to customer service people though. i'm so afraid they'll yell at me, lol
Boy, those techies are quick!
Don't you just love tech guys? I once talked to this IT guy at school named Adam for about two hours in attempt to de-virus my computer. I ended up having to restore the system, it was that bad. But I'm all souped up with Norton now.
I guess you have to give them a little slack. 4 years of university, $250K in debt, all to answer endless mouse problems for $4 an hour.
i guess all these customer service people, dont reallu listen to us, they're just hearing. ^_^
My Dell is broken too. I'll try for a Mercedes...
i work in tech support, hate hate hate, stupid customers. so here is me on the phone with comcast the other day...
cc: can i help you sir
me: my desktop works on the internet just fine but i can't get my laptop on the internet. what gives?
cc: did you try to power cycle your modem?
me: what is this "power cycle" you speak of? [in other words, no]
cc: turn the modem off then back on.
me: oh, uhm, i'll try that. thanks, bye.
i am such a dumbass, worked great.
hahaha. very funny. i gotta get one of those Dell guys over at my place. btw, got here through blog explosion. just wanna say hi!
.....so what color is the mouse? is it fast?
Thanks everyone! Matt, don't you just hate that? I do that sort of thing, too. Makes me wonder how more tech people don't come through the phone and smack us, sometimes.
Lee... the Dell mouse is basic black. The new one from Office Depot (wireless optical) is silver with black and blue pinstirpes.
I had to read it to my husband (well the phone call part). We both used to work as operators at the phone company, so we got a major kick out of it.
As Arnold says - Ahl be bock.
reminds me of all the times that it took the call - centre to understand that i wanted to speak to some one in english and not the regional language..
computers, cars and cats...nothing can wrong that can't be fixed with a sledgehammer!
No wonder, a Dell. The solution to your computer woes is to buy a Mac!
I swear, I made the switch 6 months ago and never looked back!