So. I'm trying to figure out exactly how to fill out the workman's comp claim. You know, where it says, "Explain incident." (True story.)
1) Client, who we shall describe as "colorful" and "eccentric" had a pet squirrel.
2) Please notice the past tense above.
3) Said squirrel, named Lucy, is a very lively, rambunctious "rescue" pet.
4) Lucy lived in a large bird cage with lots of things to do, but Lucy is a very clever, smart squirrel.
5) Lucy could open the cage at will, when Client wasn't looking.
6) Client didn't know and therefore couldn't explain this to our employees.
7) Lucy, being a squirrel, likes to climb. And is rather playful.
8) Lucy luuuuuuuuuuvvvvvvvvvves our carpenter, Brian. Luuuuuuuuuuuuuves him because he gave her treats.
9) When Brian was on the other side of the house, Lucy decided to go visit Brian.
10) Lucy opened her cage, sped through the house, climbed up a wall behind Brian and landed on Brian's head.
11) We think she may have been trying to kiss him. Or dig in his cheeks for treats. We're not sure.
12) Brian was a little surprised.
13) We're replacing the broken mirror, the broken sink, and the large hole in the wall is being repaired.
14) Lucy can apparently jump quite far when whatever she's standing on moves abruptly.
15) She jumped more than six feet across the room and landed on the next best target.
16) Our other employee's face.
17) Who hadn't seen any of this unfold because he'd just walked into the room to see what the commotion was about.
18) The stitches to the employee's face, tetanus shot, and follow-up doctor's visit are responsible for this claim.
19) Does workman's comp cover therapy? Both employees are a little twitchy now.
20) (Lucy, however, is currently happily living in the trees in the back yard. She's the one wearing the blue bandana. No, I don't know how she ended up with it on either.)