One of the crazy-but-fun things about a crowded mall is that people just stop thinking about the fact that other people are inches away (as in a very crowded food court) and can hear everything being said (particularly when it's not exactly being whispered.)
Man
No, you said you were going up there to get a nightgown.
Woman
I couldn't have. I said "shirts." I know I did. "Shirts" is very distinctive from "nightgown."
Man
Well, your subconscious must've been working overtime then, because you did get a nightgown, right? So that's what you said.
Woman
I said "shirts." I didn't even know I was going to get a nightgown until after I bought the shirts, so I couldn't have said it.
Man
Are you saying it's impossible that you're wrong about what you said?
Woman
Absolutely. I couldn't have said "nightgown."
Man
So you have like a vortex of impossibility that surrounds you?
Woman
If that means I wasn't wrong, then yes. A vortex of impossibility.
Man
Well, I have a vortex of impossibility and mine says yours is wrong.
Woman
Ha. Your vortex of impossibility must be coming out of your ass, because if you keep pushing your vortex on my vortex, your vortex is going to be one lonely little sucker by Christmas morning.
Man
I think my vortex just collapsed.
Woman
Damn straight.
We went around the mall the rest of the evening saying "Vortex of impossibility" for everything we didn't like. And giggling like kids. To that older couple.... thank you.
Posted by toni at December 23, 2004 11:29 PMThat is so funny. I love overhearing cute conversations like that. Thanks for sharing it with us. "Vortex of impossibility" might just enter my vocab as well. :)
Posted by: Rebecca at December 24, 2004 01:52 AMLMAO @ your vortex is going to be one lonely little sucker by Christmas morning.
That is so something I would say!
At least you didn't hear...
"Your vortex is touching my vortex"
"My vortex isn't touchinggggggg youuuuuu"
Then I would have had to lean over and told 'em..
"Keep it up and I'll have to smack both of your vortex-es if you don't shut the hell up"
That's just me, angry with the holidays.
What can I say?
I'm a grinch :P
Posted by: Shannon at December 24, 2004 09:32 AMSometimes I wonder about what people think when they overheard my boyfriend's and my conversation, which are usually similar to this, except that references to comic book characters and the Simpsons are occasionally thrown in.
Posted by: Toni at December 24, 2004 01:21 PMI'm making the rounds to wish all of my favorite bloggers a very merry Christmas. :)
Posted by: FTS at December 24, 2004 07:55 PMLOL. Love it when people are so honest in public. ;)
-G
Posted by: Garrison Steelle at December 24, 2004 10:12 PM:) funny stuff
Posted by: CrackerSnacker at December 25, 2004 12:32 AM
I'm going to try to use that in a review soon. Vortex of impossiblity that I would do some of the things I've set my list to do.
Regards!
B.A.R.
www.badassreviews.com
My mother thinks no one can hear her in a store if she whispers. So she very LOUDLY whispers things like, "Isn't that just the ugliest thing you've ever seen?" Then she wonders why store security also seems to follow her around.
Posted by: Heather at December 25, 2004 01:25 PMI'm using that one - a classic
Ta v mucho
MC + HYN
ЯuKsaK
http://ruksak.blogspot.com/
ahahahahaha! i almost fell off my seat laughing! heehee. this is a winner! ;)
Posted by: the_paradox at December 26, 2004 05:15 AMHA! priceless! totally warmed the cockles of me 'art.
Posted by: squarepeg at December 26, 2004 03:30 PMHilarious! This would make a great script for an episode of Sealab 2021.
Posted by: Saint Nate at December 26, 2004 08:47 PMLoL! That's classic. :)
Posted by: Tricia at December 26, 2004 09:16 PMHaha...awesome.
Posted by: Mandie at December 26, 2004 09:30 PMhah! :) Brilliant!
Vortex of impossibility is now stuck in my head!
Thank you.
Posted by: anna, at December 27, 2004 06:18 AMHee hee... "vortex of impossibility" - shall have to remember that! :)
Posted by: Shyam at December 27, 2004 06:54 AMOh, I am SO using 'vortex of impossibility'!! That's just too good!
Posted by: Buzz at December 27, 2004 03:15 PMLOL, overheard conversations can be the most fun. That was a riot. :)
Posted by: Laserone at December 27, 2004 06:26 PMgreat post. nothing beats a catchy dialogue and turn of the phrase.
Posted by: brando at December 28, 2004 12:24 AMToni, Thank you for your visit to my blog, and your support. Some time we'll have to talk. ... And I'll be coming back to visit often.
Posted by: Cali at December 28, 2004 01:51 AMThat's impressive. Today, I had to listen to two elderly folks complain about France being in cahoots with Islamic zealots. Not much enlightenment there...
Posted by: Alex at December 28, 2004 03:04 AMhahahahahhahahhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa! HAHAAHAH. that's the best one i've heard today. :) thanks
cheers!
Posted by: sarah shireen at December 28, 2004 09:33 AMToo funny!!
Posted by: Angie at December 28, 2004 07:48 PM