electric mist

Too Stupid To Live (TSTL)

Yesterday I had to fax something to the General Contractor (GC) at the business location where we were doing some work. He read the business' fax number to me off their letterhead.

I go to fax this. This is a no brainer, right?

The fax rings, and a woman answers the fax line, and I can hear her say (over my fax machine) "a company name" different than the one I thought I was faxing. She hangs up the phone as soon as she hears the fax tone and, of course, the fax doesn't go through.

I call the GC back to make sure I wrote the number down correctly. I certainly didn't want to keep faxing someone's regular line and driving them nuts. But nope, he assures me the number I'm reading back to him is the correct number.

So, I try again, being careful to double and then triple check what I've dialed. Same woman answsers, the company name she's saying is still not the company I'm supposed to be faxing.

By this time, I've spent ten minutes on something that should have taken two.

I call the fax number (since she's answering it) and sure enough, she answers again with the wrong company name. I explain to her who I am and who I'm trying to reach, and she says, "Oh, that's us. This is the fax line."

I comment that she was answering the phone with a different company name.

"That's where I used to work," she says. "I sometimes forget and answer wrong. But the fax line should be working. Maybe my boss is on the DSL and it's keeping the fax from going through."

"The fax line is working because we're talking on it."

"Oh," she says. "Then I don't understand why you're having a problem."

"Because you answered it and hung up."

Now, there are some places where they'll answer the phone and hear the fax tone and then they'll hang up and the fax will take over. I don't know if that's the kind of set up she has or not, so I ask, and she says, "No, usually the fax just goes through. Maybe you dialed the wrong number."

We are, still, talking ON the fax line. I point this out to her. Her next response was, "Oh, well then maybe you should just dial the number part without the area code."

"No," I say, "aside from the fact that it's long distance and I have to dial the area code, remember -- we're talking on the line right now."

"Well maybe that's why your fax won't go through, then."

:::::: toni contemplates a mercy killing :::::::

"I'm going to hang up with you," I say, "and dial the fax again, okay?"

"Okay."

I do. Right then. She answers the fax line again, then hangs up and doesn't forward it.

I find her regular number and call it, and say, "I'm the one who just tried to fax you (again), and you answered the fax line (again)."

"Yeah," she says, "I wanted to make sure it was working. Did your fax go through?"

"Um, no, because you answered the line and then hung up."

"Maybe you dialed the wrong number."

"I'm sure it's the right number, since you answered it."

"You're sure it was me?"

"Yes. It was you. Quit answering the fax line."

"Oh. But how will I know if it's working?"

"The fax will go through."

"Okay. If you say so," she says, very suspicious.

We hang up and I dial again, and then she says, "Hello (wrong company name again)." Then I hear, "Oops! I guess I wasn't supposed to answer that this time."

And she hangs up. And doesn't forward the fax.

I try again. She answers the fax line again.

I call her back on the other line. (She still answers the wrong company name.) I remind her who I am (because at this point, I'm not holding out any hope that anything is registering), and say, "If you answer that fax line again? I'm going to drive over there and rip your arms off your body. Leave the freaking fax line alone."

She says, (I swear), "I still don't think you're dialing the right number. It's not my fault if you're dialing the wrong number."

I read the fax number off to her to demonstrate that I am, indeed, faxing the right number. She agrees that's the fax number, then says, "So, that was you trying to fax just then?"

::::::::: toni's head explodes :::::::::::::

"Yes. Stay on this phone with me. I'm going to dial the fax line. It's going to ring. DON'T TOUCH IT."

So I dial the fax while she's on the phone, and we hear the phone ringing, and she says, "Just a minute, my other line's ringing," and she sets that phone down (doesn't put me on hold) and now I can hear in stereo (through that phone AND the fax machine) how she answers the fax line again with the wrong company name.

She came back to my line and said, "I don't know why that line keeps ringing and then nothing happens."

I ask to speak to her boss, and when he answers, I explain, "She keeps answering the fax line. Are y'all supposed to answer the fax line and then forward it?"

"Nope," he says. "Are you sure you're dialing the right number?"

How the employees there haven't gone postal is a complete mystery to me.

Ten minutes later, I finally manage to fax them once I've convinced him I'm dialing the right number. This entire process took forty-five minutes. I could have damned near driven there and hand delivered the paperwork.

Makes me wish there was a way to sort of pre-qualify people... you know, like you can call someone and by popular vote, a recording comes on their line as a warning, "Please be advised that the person you are calling has been voted Too Stupid To Live by 98% of the people who have called this number. Please continue the call at your own risk or dial 9 to vote for a mercy killing."

Posted by toni at October 25, 2005 10:07 AM