You know, beyond the obvious illegal, totally immoral stuff. I'd totally do all of that.
So, the other stuff:
1) Sky diving. I don't care how much you tell me it's perfectly safe and easy to pull that little pull tab that makes the parachute expand and that only a teeny tiny percentage of people ever go splat. It's only a teeny tiny percentage of people who get pregnant while using two types of birth control, and I have two kids, so I'm thinking I'm not really good with the odds here.
2) Eat live bugs, even for a million dollars. Look, I didn't even venture into eating Chinese food until after I was married and still it took my husband years to convince me I would like it. I only tried sushi a couple of years ago. (i.e., bait. It's pretty good bait, but it's still bait.) But live things? Not even with a gun to my head.
3) Stand in a box on national TV, looking like hell so that I could have a makeover to make me look better / younger. I am just not that much of a masochist. You know damn good and well those people in the box are forced to wear their ugliest stuff and wear no make up just so they look their worst, and then, big surprise, make up, clothes and style make them look better. Well, duh. As I said on Ally's blog, the whole fashion industry was really sweating that one, baby.
4) Make a video of a really intimate moment. Anyone who makes one should just go ahead and make copies for the general public because someone, somewhere is either going to get pissed off and show it or is going to steal it and blackmail you with it. You might as well just go ahead and pick the best images and make stills from them. You can't pretend to be all coquettish if you're hanging your hootchie out on film. Suck it up and show it off or shut up.
5) Live for a year month day five minutes with TV cameras in my home to document all of the ways I can be crazy and stupid. We do crazy really well over here. I'd really rather there not be proof the kids could use later to put us away with the little snug white jackets.
6) Expose all of my innermost thoughts and feelings to the world at... er, oops. Move along, nothing to see here.
So... what would you NOT do for the money? If you say it a blog, come back here and let me know and I'll link back to you.
Posted by toni at March 22, 2006 01:06 AM
Hmmm.
I wouldn't...
(1) Vote Tory
(2) Kill someone
(3) Be a surrogate mother
(4) Endorse products I didn't appreciate or believe in
(5) Abandon my child
(6) Put my child in the limelight (if they didn't want it)
(7) Send my child away to school
But I would skydive, eat bugs, allow cameras into my home and make a video of an intimate moment! The first two because they seem like interesting experiences, the last two because I am an exhibitionist.
I wouldn't do the makeover thing though. I hate those shows with a passion. Not only are they encouraging the victims to feel shit about their normal everyday selves and then forcing them into someone else's ideal of what looks good, they are encouraging all their viewers to feel the same way AND to judge the poor makeover victim. It makes me want to throw things at the telly as I sit there wearing my holey knickers with pride.
And... breathe. ;o)
Posted by: Clare at March 23, 2006 03:24 PM